Stages of online dating
Seeing as how you were probably highly intoxicated the first time around, you decide to see this person one more time.
Because they’re Mr/Miss Good Time so they’d rather give us a great time in the moment so that they feel OK about what they do next—disappear.Ghosting is especially rife in the early stages of dating because in a time where someone might juggle multiple contacts due to apps and websites, or where their heads are easily turned due to a plenty of fish in the sea mentality, some argue that surely they can’t be expected to break up with or at least give a heads-up to each person they date. And actually, it’s also fair to say that not everyone wants to hear back from every date that doesn’t work out.A lot of the time, we can work things out for ourselves (if we were present rather than auditioning on the date).It’s highly likely if you’ve been around the dating block a few times, that you’ve ghosted–I know I have.The pleaser in me felt as if I ‘should’ reciprocate interest but I didn’t want to.
I hear from folks who didn’t hear back from a prospective date from Plenty of Fish or whatever, who they exchanged a few messages with and it seemed as if they had “so much in common”. If we feel that someone we haven’t met but who we felt interested in based on a profile or exchange of messages has ‘disappeared’, it is time for us to step back and be honest with ourselves about what is really going on because emotional responsibility dictates that we need to do our due diligence before we get emotionally invested and we have a duty of care to remain grounded. And we (and they) have to be adult enough to respect our own and their position. Conflict avoidant people who we have often convinced ourselves that things are ‘perfect’ and dismissed code amber and red alerts, are big time ghosters.